Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Final essay first draft

First Draft






                                                                                                  

     The Story of Me
           
During life everyone has that one thing that causes him or her to develop in to the person they are today. Whether it is art, writing, or accounting. Everyone has something that has caused him or her to grow into the person they are today. For me that one thing has been sports. Since I was a little boy sports has been something that had been installed in my daily life. Before I could even talk I was wearing Chicago Bulls t-shirts and watching Michael Jordan hit game winners. When I became a little bit older my dad introduced me to the sports of football and baseball. The two sports which I hold so dearly to my heart now. As I got older I learned to swim and found out that I was actually pretty decent at swimming. As I got older I started swimming competitively and playing water polo. Sports were not only something I enjoyed watching and playing but also they were something I enjoyed collecting. I have thousands of sports cards and a lot of sports memorabilia as well. Sports have been something that has shaped my daily life in more ways than you could imagine. Its helped me grow and learn as an individual and I would not be the same person I am today without them.

            Being a fan is the first way sports have helped develop who I am today. You may be thinking to yourself how does being a fan or a sports team develop who you are? First because its being a fan of sports has brought me some the best moments of my life and has been pivotal point in the growth of my relationship with my Dad over the years. My father and I have done so many different sports related things in our life it has caused us to become extremely close. Whether it be watching hundreds of Chicago bears games at home or at soldier field or skipping a day of school to watch the red sox in game 3 of the 2004 and 2013 world series sports has provided some of the most pivotal moments in my life. According to a article called Father and son on the website “Experience Life.” It states that the connection a boy has with his dad is what makes him who he is today. Sports are something that my father and I have always been able to talk about. Whether it be talking about stats of a team and players or debating about a recent happening in the sports world my dad and I are always talking about and discussing sports. It’s a bond that has made my father and I’s relationships grow stronger with each passing year. A bond between a boy and his father is one of the most important things that can be maintained through a boy’s life. The most special sports extravaganza I ever had with my Dad was going to game three of the 2004 World Series. The reason why this game was so special was because it was just my dad and I. Neither my mom nor my two brothers went to this game. This gave my dad and I time to really bond. It was also the beginning of my extreme love for baseball in general. I watched the Pedro Martinez pitch the Red Sox to an easy victory to go up three to nothing in the series. A series they would eventually win four to nothing. This was the Red sox first world series in over eighty years.
Obtained from google images
Seeing a once in a lifetime even like this really made my relationship with my dad stronger because it was one of the best moments in both of our lives. Not only has sports helped my relationship with my father but it has helped in making relationships with my friends to.
Sports are also something that has made me become closer friends with just about every single friend I have come to know over my lifetime. Whether it be going to Bears games on a Sunday afternoon or sitting in buffalo wild wings watching every single Sunday football game from noon until six. It was a great bond my friends and I had. We also played something called fantasy football. Fantasy football is a game where you draft a team of players playing football in the NFL and you get points for the statistics each player puts up. This was something we put a little wager on so it always made the game more fun. It of course also caused us to interact even more whether it be at home or together. It caused more debating and fun then I have ever had in my life. I was also on the swim and water polo team with a lot of my best friends in High School. When you are stuck in the pool and weight room every day after school for 6 months a year with the same people you really get to know them. It is very easy to realize whom you like and dislike. My friends and I would always be pushing each other to get better. We fed off of each other. All of our drive and passion for the sport we were playing caused us to get better.  For a while in high school I was not in the greatest of shape. Through swimming began what was my ability to lose fifty pounds. This determination started with the same people that pushed me to be better which could have never happened if it were not for my passion of swimming. Swimming is what started to get my weight in check. When my junior year of high school came around I noticed myself becoming the most lazy I had ever been in my entire life. I was not eating well and I was not sleeping well and most importantly I was not working out like I used to. I had always been involved in swimming. However, I never really took swimming that serious. Finally when my junior year came around I finally looked at my self in the mirror and said I need to make a change. I knew I had a long road ahead of me but little did I know swimming was part of the answer that turned me in to the human being I am today. Junior year I finally started to take swimming a little bit more serious. However during junior year I got extremely sick and missed a lot of swimming so I was not able to take swimming as serious as I wanted to. Fast forward to senior year and I was finally determined to have my best year of swimming yet. Plus I had gotten two of my best friends to join the team as well. The fact that I had gotten my two best friends to join the team made the experience so much better. We all wanted to be better than each other so it caused us to push each other to be the absolute best we could be. Which caused us to strive for our best in practice every day. A article on USA today by Greg Toppo states that most children who are even a little bit athletically inclined have better relationships and are even able to raise there social status. This is because it gives children confidence they need to talk to other children. Another thing that can be attributed to children playing sports is that children who are not of the athletic type do not play sports in school so they do not have as many chances as other children who play sports to make friends. I can say that all of my strongest relationships in High School can be attributed to sports. Whether it be meeting my best friend at a football camp, which caused me to meet my girlfriend or gaining a stronger relationship with three of my friends over water polo and swimming, Sports have caused me to meet some of my best friends and even my girlfriend. Time and time again playing sports has been something that I realized has given me so many great relationships. If I had not been in sports I would not have all of the wonderful relationships I have today. This just further proves that playing sport through out my life has caused me to make some relationships that may end up lasting my entire life. Which further proves that sports have been an integral part in my growing up.
           
I have watched and been apart of sports all of my life. However, nothing has been bigger than my hobby of collecting and selling sports card and memorabilia. Through out my life I have always collected sports cards. It started when I was five when I started collecting NASCAR cards. It quickly moved into a hobby that was hard for me to control. This was something my father and I also loved doing. He has a huge collection of sports cards as well. As I got older and started working I started collecting more expensive sports memorabilia that was autographed. This was some of my favorite stuff. I collected countless things From Autographed jerseys to balls I have it all. However, just this past summer this hobby turned in to a business for me. According to an article from AltaVista.com by Ellen Cannon it states that once you have money it’s easier to make more. This was so important because I always wanted to start a little side business but I never had the money to do it. Once I started working I gained enough money to start it and it took off from there.  I started buying sports memorabilia off of different vendors for the cheapest price I could find. I also had to make sure this stuff was authentic. I would then turn around and sell these items to my friends and others for a profit. This worked because I could buy the memorabilia for so cheap that it was still less expensive for people to buy from me then from other vendors. This was an integral part of growing up to me because it taught me the value of money and business. It was a way for me to keep earning a profit on my money. It also made me become even closer with one of my best friends because we started a little business. That was successful mostly around Christmas time. Collecting and selling sports taught me multiple things. It taught me how to deal with people and it taught me a smart way to keep growing my money. I would never sell anything and less I knew someone was going to buy it. I talked to different people all the time making sure they would buy form me and not from someone else. This made my people skills even better. It was also a smart way to invest my money and keep earning a profit. My sports memorabilia obsession was not really the most necessary thing but it was one of the most important things in my development through out life. It could end up being something I do for a living when I am older. Whether it is a business or just a little side job.

            Through out my entire life sports have been something that I could rely on to develop relationships with my father and my friends and It was something that also taught me some valuable life lessons in business and dealing with people. Sports have developed me into the person I am today. When I am older I do not see me working at any job that does not involve sports it is my passion in life. It is something that I have grown up around my entire life and that I cannot live with out. I will make sure it does not get in the way of other relationships I have with people but I do not for see that being an issue. My best advice for anyone is to find something you love. Once you find that one thing you are passionate about you will see major strides in your development as a person. You may not start to notice for a few years but trust me you will see them.



                                                      Citations

Cannon, Ellen. "AltaVista Investing." AltaVista Investing.  AltaVista Investing, 13 July 2013. Web. 02 Dec. 2013.

Hart, Joseph. "Father and Son." Experience Life. N.p., Sept. 2006. Web. 02 Dec. 2013.

Toppo, Greg. "Sports Is Fuel for Friendship, Study Finds - USATODAY.com." Sports Is Fuel for Friendship, Study Finds - USATODAY.com. Gannett Company, 25 Nov. 2007. Web. 02 Dec. 2013.

1 comment:

  1. 1) Yes. Effective title
    2) Intro is good.
    3) Family/relationships is a theme, clearly stated.
    4) Yes, for example: "The 2004 and 2013 World Series"
    5) Not much sensory details used, more wouldn't hurt at all.
    6) Story is mostly chronological, easy to follow.
    7) Organized by chronology mostly. Good nuff
    8) Good Transitions
    10) Yes, On the surface this paper is about sports, but the writer reflects on how his relationships with friends and family have come to improve from it.
    11) Two of the sources are supporting the relationship between sports and good relationships, but the third is about investing. One more about sports and family and stuff would be good.
    12) Good Closure is provided.
    13) Fine integration.
    14) yes
    15) Good story aside from minor spelling errors. Effective at fulfilling the assignment of the final essay.

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