Davin Fleming
English 1510
Professor Lana
24 November 2013
Trust
Issues
As a child, I was
a kid who never trusted a soul around me only except myself. Always felt that I was the best and thought
my way was right. It was easy to notice my problem with the two traits that
stuck with me through my childhood. No
one wanted to be my friend or get that close to me. I went to Daycare everyday when I was at the
start of kindergarten. Everyday when it
was lunchtime, the teacher would check our food from the pack lunch and I would
never trust them with my bag or anyone else touch it. I just kept everything around me. I was playing with my toys that I had brought
from home and a few kids decided to join me.
I would not let them hold or touch my toys because I did not trust
others with my stuff and was kind of selfish when it came to sharing. I always thought someone would break my toy
or lose it, so knowing me I just kept it right by my side. So many children did not want to play with me
once they caught on to my trust issues. As
well as having trust issues during my childhood, self-centered contributed to
my trust issues because it left me lonely. The result from that made me develop
self-centered because I did not trust anyone except me. Now it was me, myself, and I! I thought that everything had to be my way or
I did not really trust in other ideas.
My parents tried to help me fix my selfish way and say take a chance in
trusting your peers around you. It
finally hit me once I hit high school, when I was growing up and remembers being
told I was too self-centered every now and then. As time went out, I got into high school and
that’s when everything was about to change the way I was in my earlier
childhood.
When I was in this
phase during my life, I missed out on certain things in my childhood that could
be different today. I could have had
more friends to this day from my childhood but since I did not trust anyone, it
affected who wanted to be my friend.
During your childhood, it is important that you come from a good
childhood because a lonely one could shape you in the future. A negative aspect to not trusting anyone is
that when you want to do something with others or be apart, they may not trust
you since you do not trust them.
Basically, you’re isolating yourself with no one around you. Some people
differ from others based on what they went through or how they act during their
childhood years. I got more respected
when I learned to changed from being too self-centered because no one wants to
be around a person who thinks he knows what’s best. The best part is everyone won’t be against
because if you not are self-centered, rather than just be all about
yourself. Once, I got the high school
sports everything changes from being who I was, to a different person I am
today.
As I got to the
high school sports, I started to learn how to work as a team and one unit
through track and football. Football and
track changed my beliefs, which allowed me to come together as a team rather
than an individual. Sports at this level
in life were not about you; it was a team goal to get where a certain
point. This was going to require
trusting your teammates and getting along with your environment around you. The coaches from both sports help me achieve
success, as I got older. We were lifting
in the weight room, I wanted to do lift a certain way and work with the person
I chose, but one of the coaches changed it up.
I had got an attitude about the issue and the one of my other coach saw
that and came over to tells me angrily, “Your going to learn that it’s not always your fricken way and
get mad over it every time cause your not always right; it is time to grow up
Fleming”. I sat there to
think about it for a while because I have been told this throughout my life and
he really meant it by the way I always acted.
It changed me because I should be lifting with someone that is similar
to you rather than losing time in the weight room going back and forth with the
weights. Then the coaches decided to
change my position to the offense which is a significant different and they
said it was best for the team. Knowing
me, I did not want to stay on that side I wanted to stay on defense cause I
wanted it my way. Later it benefited me
down the road because I ended up playing both sides of the ball which help the
team overall. I realized that I had to
trust what the coaches were saying because they knew more than I do. I started to care about the team more than
myself; I was just trying to do my part.
I took this attitude and carried it over to the next sport I was going
to be doing which was track season.
Football got me
ready for track season because I was on a relay team. Relay team requires that the group do their
part and perform the way the coaches taught us.
The coach taught us that we have to work together as a team if we want
to win meets and qualify for the state track meet if we put in the work. I did not want to run as much as he made us
do during practice. I thought it was a
waste of time and will not benefit us in the end, but soon I would discover the
truth. All the running that we do, makes
the event we do easier for us and let us focus on who wants to win more against
the other opponent rather than have our mindset on being tired. That’s when I started not questioning the
running we do and just grinded it out.
Now another problem rose up again in the relay. He made me run a certain leg that I didn’t
want to run, but the plan took us to state.
The coach changed my steps
because I was a wee bit slow taking off so he moved me my steps, but since I
did not trust that we would win I said to keep it where the steps are. He said you have to trust me in your life
because I know what’s best for this relay team and you will have to believe in
each one of your teammates to do their part.
He would give us quote everyday
of a track meet, in addition to saying I believe in you with the note because
he trusted that we all we give it everything.
That would relate back to me by giving me trust for my team to do what
it takes to get the next level. Once I
knew the coach strategy worked, our team became much stronger. If I never agreed with my coach’s track ways,
I would have never got the experience to the state track meet in my two
careers.
Throughout my life, I started trusting
people who were close to me and allowing me to make more friends. Also, I was not self-centered anymore and
actually saw everything in a different perspective. I would not be who I am today nor have the
experience my coaches help me to achieve.
In life, you will have to be able to allow yourself to trust others, and
believe in what older people tell you who know more than you. Life is not always going to be in your favor
every time, you will have to learn what life throws at you and deal with
it. I struggle with understanding the
concept of realizing it. It made me lose
friends as well as affect me in sports when I wanted it my way. I found out later down the road that there
will be people better than me and I can’t think that it was all about me no
matter how self centered I was. If we
work together, we will be even more successful together not just thinking one
is better than another. I started trusting
more people even though I felt very worried if I should allow this person to be
as close to me. Then I felt like I had
family bond on my side now since my protective guards were down.
Somehow I got to see these character traits in
real life in high sports. There was a
basketball team who our school was playing on a Friday night back in
December. I was reading the scouting
report to see how good they are and happens to have the two best players in the
conference and projected to go far in the tournament. I heard from something about the players not
liking each other and thought they deserve the ball more than the others. Parents are arguing about whose son was
better arise in the newspaper as well.
The team ended up getting their season cut short in the tournament. This relates back to me because the two
players never trusted each other and only had trust in their self to being the
best on the team. In the end, it hurt
the overall team because the players were ball-hoggers and did not work as a
team. The players basically played for
their selves out on the court and ruined the season that should have went down
differently. I’m thankful I didn’t have to experience that in high school
because I changed right as it hit me and before I was participating on the
field. Basketball is a team sport and
you cannot win with just a bunch of individuals playing for their selves,
you’ve got to have some team chemistry.
Once I saw this event, I realized it actually does affect you and your
team in the end. I wonder when the two
teammates players will learn to trust people because they have not yet and will
be in college sooner or later.
This is a quote that I can relate back to my
struggles with trust issues because it was hard finding trust in other
people. “Learning to trust is one of
life's most difficult tasks” (Issac Watts).
I believe this quote is true because it took me a while to start
trusting others that I was surrounded by.
It ties with my focus point because never trusting anyone will make you
self-centered and make you only feel comfortable with yourself. Also, it ties back with my main point
because I finally can say I’ve changed my mindset to open myself up rather than
being closed up within myself. It was a
gradually slow process to get to where I am at today.
I remember back when I talk to some friends over
the summer break and how we were somewhat similar in our personalities. They changed their ways before I had done the
same. The experience my friends went
through was that no one wanted to be their friends because they never let
anybody close to them and open up to others.
My friends said their glad they have the friends they do now and can
trust them under any circumstance. Also,
one of my friends had mention to me; no one wants to be around you if you’re
self-centered because people will not want to be around a selfish person. He said it’s not fun just being by yourself
having no one to socialize with because how you are. We all agree it’s much better life when you
have friends to trust and care about others because you’re not alone anymore.
In conclusion, as I went through all the negative
experiences in life, I think I realize it is time for me to change myself as a
person to a new person. I’ve learned
that it’s not always going to be about you.
My high school sports experience turned out to be great and enjoyable
ride with my team. At some point in your
life, it will hit you like it did for me. If it wasn’t for my coaches in each
sport I played as well as family trying to change me, I would be writing about
how I am lonely and trust no one but myself.
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