Corey Jones
Lana Oweidat
English 1510
2 December 2013
Childhood Temper to
Young Man Tame
What does it mean
to be civil or tamed? How can someone learn from a natural characteristic that
they have lived with their entire life? What makes a person change their
mindset? Many questions evolve from the state of mind and the way someone can
express their feelings. I believe that over time anyone can change the way they
think, rather it be social and media influences, or just in general the way
that they think from maturity and age. I am a pure form of something that has
been through change, I changed because I needed to change for my mental was not
stable and my mind being stable has made me into a better person.
I was always told
growing up you have a great smile, you can really brighten someone’s day. It
words like this that really make a person feel special. I can tell you that behind
that smile were someone who was innocent but always in trouble. As a child I
would do the most ridiculous things to make a scene. Trouble and I were best
friends. Trouble created a sense of pleasure and getting under someone’s skin
was the ultimate success. Times when I picked with my sister showed my maturity
but also showed my evilness.
One day it was not
about my sister and I it was something that involved change in life. “Corey,
Reme I have something to tell you!” said my mother. “Yes? What is it?” my
sister questioned. “Well… I’m pregnant and I’m now
married” my mother said unwillingly. I did not respond, I was in a state of
mind that was not pleasant. I was lost for words it felt as if someone took my
tongue out and shutoff my voice box. This day was the start to my entire life
of change; I contemplated how I could now not be the little one of the family
and how I can now have something that is related to me but not have the same
father. I was hurt, I felt betrayed because I felt as if I should know
everything that goes on with my mother. My mother was my heart and soul, she
was my woman and for someone to take that away from me was the most devastating
thing anyone could do. I became furious and I became different towards her. I
thought that the very connection that my mother and I had became distant and
lost that very day. Not only at this moment I realized that my father and
mother weren’t going to get back together, I realized that this was my last
string for anything to happen between them.
I was ten years
old at the time, and I was constantly in trouble. I had lots of friends and
lots of laughter. I was happy with my life. I was content. I felt the need to
show who was boss in my grade so I would fight constantly, but fighting in my
neighborhood was just as simple as playing basketball. I wouldn’t let anyone
talk strangely towards me because it was a sign of disrespect. Living in
Dayton, Ohio in Westwood was a different life in itself. My mom would not let
me go down the street after 7 o’clock. It was a rough life but somehow we were
never poor or were never in need. The area that surrounded my family and I
caused me to make decisions in my life that would make me or break me. I can remember when I was about eight years
old ,I didn’t call my mom one time from a long day of being outside. Playing
with my friends I got carried away and lost track of time. Early that day my
mother gave permission for me to be outside until the first street light turns
on, once it turns on she told me I need to be home. Well I never listened to
that because all I thought was the fact that I am going to be outside until I
feel like I need to come inside. After awhile the sun starts to go down and I
hear a call from the ally “COREY RASHAD
JONES GET IN HERE NOW!” not only did I know I was in trouble I knew that I
was going to get a spanking for being disobedient. I get in the house and right
away there is straight discipline. I get a spanking and I run to my room I cry
and cry. Replaying the scene over in my head allowed my little self to become
furious and began to destroy the things that I value most, my own stuff. When I
get mad I growl, flex, and become somewhat of an animal.
I can reflect on
how before anyone could talk to me, my mom would send me into my room and allow
me to gather myself to think about my actions. I would sit there and think and
think and just become more furious and every time I would do something wrong
she would say that it is just a lesson that she is trying to teach me. I would
never learn these lessons because I felt like it was just punishment. However,
now that I am older I can totally understand the lessons that I went through.
Although
remarriage for my mother was a tough task for me to overcome, I would agree
that it has made me into the man I am today. At the age of ten I would realize
that I now live in someone else home under someone else’s rules. If anyone who
knows my dad, my mom’s remarried husband, would know that he is black and white
with every situation. This means that every situation there is a reason and there
is also an answer to it. For an extreme example, if someone is trying to jump
off a bridge he would simply ask what is the reason behind it. If the reason is
not up to the standards of his understanding than he will simply say you need
to rethink your process and try to go about doing it a different way. My
mother’s husband is a behavioral therapist, which is basically the study of
behaviors and the reason why beings do what they do. So everything that you
think is simple he will make you think about variables that can happen with the
choices you make in your life.
As much as I
struggle with the fact that I am under new rules, those rules forced me to
mature and develop. There was a time when I didn’t get my way because of
certain issues that had occurred. I had asked to spend the night over a friend’s
house and that was something that I always did under my mother’s household.
Well my dad did not allow that. It was his house his rules. Me being the
individual that I am I never would confine to those rules I would always argue
with them because it was a new move for me. Well this time arguing did not work
out in my favor. Arguing was a big scene
that I had caused. I tore my room up, jumped on top of my bed, and jumped up
and down and did my routine hawk type ritual where I thought I was the toughest
and maddest around. Once I got done my mother would come in and talk to me. However,
this time everything that I tried to destroy got taken away. My television, my
bed, and my gaming consoles all got taken away, it was as if my world had
gotten destroyed. All because I was told to be in bed by eight that evening which
is early for me, however that made me more upset.
That night I
realized a lot of personal things about myself. It was as if something in my
mind told me that I needed to change. It was as if the light bulb in my head
went off telling me that I am not an animal I am a human being. Many thoughts
ran through my head and after all of the destruction I caused. I still was
empty I did not get my way and I did not get where I wanted to go. At the end
of the night I was stuck at home with a bedtime, sleeping on the floor, mad,
and most importantly I hurt the feelings of my mom. I had to change it was only
fair or my life would have been long and uncomfortable. From that day forward I
was no longer the kid with the short temper I was the mature kid with the smile
that is wiser than ever. I created a sense for myself that would allow me to re-gather
myself in times of frustration and anger. No longer would I get mad at someone
telling me no at the end of the day, I still have to live the rest of the day
under rules. I was not an adult I was a young man.
My dad, my mother’s
husband, was the tame that put out that fire that I had burning in heart. I
would agree that it was one of the best things that happened to my life. I
don’t think it was maturing with age I think that it was the choices that I had
to make as a young man that changed my mindset on a lot of other things. It was
a new beginning that got me way further in life than I ever would have. I think
that hurting my mother’s feelings allowed me to change more than for my actual
self but it became a practice. To me when everything is kosher I am happy and
life is simple. My mother being my queen, when she is happy I am happy and
everything is a win.
Although making my
mother happy is something I would love to see everyday, that’s not what life is
about. Today I am totally different human being. Little things in life that
would trigger my temper don’t spark the temper in me. I have mellowed out
because I have been put through situations that test my limits, its almost if
my mind went through a transformation. I love the way that I am now but
sometimes I wish I were back to my old ways. Now its hard for me to say no
because I have become so mellowed out that those things don’t really matter to
me. Sometimes I feel less dominate because I feel less stern about the decision
calls that I make. While growing up I
remember one thing that stuck with me the most and carried me to be the person
I am today. My dad would always say “ A man isn’t measure by the size of his
heart but is measured by the strength of his heart.” For me this quote, it gave
me the drive to believe that as long as I can become a strong human being I can
survive the ways of the world and giving my heart to something allowed me use
my wisdom about things that happen in my life.
This clip is about change and
drives me everyday to become the best human being I can become.
In conclusion, what
I want you to take from this essay is that when I was younger I was different.
It wasn’t because I was young it was because my temper was out of control. I
realize that my mother getting married allowed me to change the person who I am
because I was put though situation that test my attitude. I also changed
because the love I have for my mother out weighs the other things that life
brings. I believed at first the worst thing that can happen was for my mom to
get married, but at the end of the day it happened to be the best thing for
both her and I.
Works citied
Thomas, Eric.
"How Bad Do You Want It? (Success) HD." YouTube. YouTube, 29
Aug. 2011. Web. 10 Dec. 2013.
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