English paper

Corey Jones

Lana Oweidat

English 1510

2 December 2013

Childhood Temper to Young Man Tame

What does it mean to be civil or tamed? How can someone learn from a natural characteristic that they have lived with their entire life? What makes a person change their mindset? Many questions evolve from the state of mind and the way someone can express their feelings. I believe that over time anyone can change the way they think, rather it be social and media influences or just in general the way that they think from maturity and age. I am a pure form of something that has been through change, for the good of mental stability that has made me into a better person.

I was always told growing up you have a great smile, you can really brighten someone’s day. It words like this that really make a person feel special. I can tell you that behind that smile were someone who was innocent but always in trouble. As a child I would do the most ridiculous things to make a scene. Trouble and I were best friends. Trouble created a sense of pleasure and getting under someone’s skin was the ultimate success. Times when I picked with my sister showed my maturity but also showed my evilness.  

One day it was not about my sister and I it was something that involved change in life. “Corey, Reme I have something to tell you!” said my mother. “Yes? What is it?” my sister questioned. “Well… I’m pregnant and I’m now married” my mother said unwillingly. I did not respond, I was in a state of mind that was not pleasant. I was lost for words it felt as if someone took my tongue out and shutoff my voice box. This day was the start to my entire life of change; I contemplated how I could now not be the little one of the family and how I can now have something that is related to me but not have the same father. I was hurt, I felt betrayed because I felt as if I should know everything that goes on with my mother. My mother was my heart and soul, she was my woman and for someone to take that away from me was the most devastating thing anyone could do. I became furious and I became different towards her. I thought that the very connection that my mother and I had became distant and lost that very day. Not only at this moment I realized that my father and mother weren’t going to get back together, I realized that this was my last string for anything to happen between them. 

I was ten years old at the time, and I was constantly in trouble. I had lots of friends and lots of laughter. I was happy with my life. I was content. I felt the need to show who was boss in my grade so I would fight constantly, but fighting in my neighborhood was just as simple as playing basketball. I wouldn’t let anyone talk strangely towards me because it was a sign of disrespect. Living in Dayton, Ohio in Westwood was a different life in itself. My mom would not let me go down the street after 7 o’clock. It was a rough life but somehow we were never poor or were never in need. The area that surrounded my family and I caused me to make decisions in my life that would make me or break me.  I can remember when I was about eight years old ,I didn’t call my mom one time from a long day of being outside. Playing with my friends I got carried away and lost track of time. Early that day my mother gave permission for me to be outside until the first street light turns on, once it turns on she told me I need to be home. Well I never listened to that because all I thought was the fact that I am going to be outside until I feel like I need to come inside. After awhile the sun starts to go down and I hear a call from the ally “COREY RASHAD JONES GET IN HERE NOW!” not only did I know I was in trouble I knew that I was going to get a spanking for being disobedient. I get in the house and right away there is straight discipline. I get a spanking and I run to my room I cry and cry. Replaying the scene over in my head allowed my little self to become furious and began to destroy the things that I value most, my own stuff. When I get mad I growl, flex, and become somewhat of an animal.  

Before anyone could talk to me, my mom would send me into my room and allow me to gather myself to think about my actions. I would sit there and think and think and just become more furious and every time I would do something wrong she would say that it is just a lesson that she is trying to teach me. I would never learn these lessons because I felt like it was just punishment. However, now that I am older I can totally understand the lessons that I went through.

Although remarriage for my mother was a tough task for me to overcome, I would agree that it has made me into the man I am today. At the age of ten I would realize that I now live in someone else home under someone else’s rules. If anyone who knows my dad, my moms remarried husband, would know that he is black and white with every situation. This means that every situation there is a reason and there is also an answer to it. For an extreme example, if someone is trying to jump off a bridge he would simply ask what is the reason behind it. If the reason is not up to the standards of his understanding than he will simply say you need to rethink your process and try to go about doing it different way. My mother’s husband is a behavioral therapist, which is basically the study of behaviors and the reason why beings do what they do. So everything that you think is simple he will make you think about variables that can happen with the choices you make in your life.

As much as I struggle with the fact that I am under new rules those rules forced me to mature and develop. There was a time when I didn’t get my way because of certain issues that had occurred. I had asked to spend the night over a friend’s house and that was something that I always did. Well my dad did not allow that. It was his house his rules. Me being the individual that I am I never would confine to those rules I would always argue with them because it was a new move for me. Well this time arguing did not work out in my favor it was a big scene that I had caused I tore my room up, jumped on top of my bed, and jumped up and down and did my routine hawk type ritual where I thought I was the toughest and maddest around. Well everything that I tried to destroy got taken away. My television, my bed, and my gaming consoles all got taken away,it was as if my world had gotten destroyed. I was told to be in bed by eight that evening which is early for me, however that made me more upset.

That night I realized a lot of personal things about myself. It was as if something in my mind told me that I needed to change. It was as if the light bulb in my head went off telling me that I am not an animal I am a human being. Many thoughts ran through my head and after all of the destruction I caused. I still was empty I did not get my way and I did not get where I wanted to go. At the end of the night I was stuck at home with a bedtime, sleeping on the floor, mad, and most importantly I hurt the feelings of my mom. I had to change it was only fair or my life would have been long and uncomfortable. From this day forward I was no longer the kid with the short temper I was the mature kid with the smile that is wiser than ever I created a sense for myself that would allow me to re-gather myself. No longer would I get mad at someone telling me no, at the end of the day I still have to live the rest of the day under rules I am not an adult I am a young man.

My dad, my mother’s husband, was the tame that put out that fire that I had burning in heart. I would agree that it was one of the best things that happened to my life. I don’t think it was maturing with age I think that it was the choices that I had to make as a young man that changed my mindset on a lot of other things. It was a new beginning that got me way further in life than I ever would have. I think that hurting my mothers feelings allowed me to change more than for my actual self but it became a practice. To me when everything is kosher I am happy and life is simple. My mother being my queen, when she is happy I am happy and everything is a win.