Pretty rough draft

Davin Fleming

English 1510

Professor Lana

24 November 2013

Learning to Trust Others & Not Be Self-Centered

As a child, I was a kid who never trusted a soul around me only except myself.  Always felt that I was the best and thought my way was right. It was easy to notice my problem with the two traits that stuck with me through my childhood.  No one wanted to be my friend or get that close to me.  I went to Daycare everyday when I was at the start of kindergarten.  Everyday when it was lunchtime, the teacher would check our food from the pack lunch and I would never trust them with my bag or anyone else touch it.  I just kept everything around me.  I was playing with my toys that I had brought from home and a few kids decided to join me.  I would not let them hold or touch my toys because I did not trust others with my stuff and was kind of selfish when it came to sharing.  I always thought someone would break my toy or lose it, so knowing me I just kept it right by my side.  So many children did not want to play with me once they caught on to my trust issues.  Another issue during my childhood was that I use to be self-centered person.  I thought that everything had to be my way or I did not really trust in other ideas.  My parents tried to help me fix my selfish way and say take a chance in trusting your peers around you.  It finally hit me once I hit high school, when I was growing up and remembers being told I was too self-centered every now and then.  As time went out, I got into high school and that’s when everything was about to change the way I was in my earlier childhood.

As I got to the high school sports, I started to learn how to work as a team and one unit through track and football.  Football and track changed my beliefs, which allowed me to come together as a team rather than an individual.  Sports at this level in life were not about you; it was a team goal to get where a certain point.  This was going to require trusting your teammates and getting along with your environment around you.  The coaches from both sports help me achieve success, as I got older.  We were lifting in the weight room, I wanted to do lift a certain way and work with the person I chose, but one of the coaches changed it up.  I had got an attitude about the issue and the one of my other coach saw that and came over to tell me “Your going to learn that it’s not always your fricken way and get mad over it every time cause your not always right; it is time to grow up Fleming”.  I sat there to think about it for a while because I have been told this throughout my life and he really meant it by the way I always acted.  It changed me because I should be lifting with someone that is similar to you rather than losing time in the weight room going back and forth with the weights.  Then the coaches decided to change my position to the offense which is a significant different and they said it was best for the team.  Knowing me, I did not want to stay on that side I wanted to stay on defense cause I wanted it my way.  Later it benefited me down the road because I ended up playing both sides of the ball which help the team overall.  I realized that I had to trust what the coaches were saying because they knew more than I do.   I started to care about the team more than myself; I was just trying to do my part. 

Football got me ready for track season because I was on a relay team.  Relay team requires that the group do their part and perform the way the coaches taught us.  The coach taught us that we have to work together as a team if we want to win meets and qualify for the state track meet if we put in the work.  I did not want to run as much as he made us do during practice.  I thought it was a waste of time and will not benefit us in the end, but soon I would discover the truth.  All the running that we do, makes the event we do easier for us and let us focus on who wants to win more against the other opponent rather than have our mindset on being tired.  That’s when I started not questioning the running we do and just grinded it out.  Now another problem rose up again in the relay.  He made me run a certain leg that I didn’t want to run, but the plan took us to state.   The coach changed my steps because I was a wee bit slow taking off so he moved me, but since I did not trust that we would win I said to keep it where the steps are.  He said you have to trust me in your life because I know what’s best for this relay team and you will have to believe in each one of your teammates to do their part.   He would give us quote everyday of a track meet, in addition to saying I believe in you with the note because he trusted that we all we give it everything.  That would relate back to me by giving me trust for my team to do what it takes to get the next level.  Once I knew the coach strategy worked, our team became much stronger.  If I never agreed with my coach’s track ways, I would have never got the experience to the state track meet in my two careers. 

Throughout my life, I started trusting people who were close to me and allowing me to make more friends.  Also, I was not self-centered anymore and actually saw everything in a different perspective.  I would not be who I am today nor have the experience my coaches help me to achieve.  In life, you will have to be able to allow yourself to trust others, and believe in what older people tell you who know more than you.  Life is not always going to be in your favor every time, you will have to learn what life throws at you and deal with it.  I struggle with understanding the concept of realizing it.  It made me lose friends as well as affect me in sports when I wanted it my way.  

This is a quote that can relate back to my struggle because it was hard finding trust in other people.  “Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks” (Issac Watts).  I believe this quote is true because it took me a while to start trusting others that I was surrounded by.  I finally can say I’ve changed my mindset to open myself up rather than being closed up within myself.  It was a gradually slow process to get to where I am at today. 

When I was in this phase during my life, I missed out on certain things in my childhood that could be different today.  I could have had more friends to this day from my childhood but since I did not trust anyone, it affected who wanted to be my friend.  During your childhood, it is important that you come from a good childhood because a lonely one could shape you in the future.   A negative aspect to not trusting anyone is that when you want to do something with others or be apart, they may not trust you since you do not trust them.  Basically, you’re isolating yourself with no one around you. Some people differ from others based on what they went through or how they act during their childhood years.  I got more respected when I learned to changed from being too self-centered because no one wants to be around a person who thinks he knows what’s best.  The best part is everyone won’t be against because if you not are self-centered, rather than just be all about yourself. 

I found out later down the road that there will be people better than me and I can’t think that it was all about me no matter how self centered I was.  If we work together, we will be even more successful together not just thinking one is better than another.  I started trusting more people even though I felt very worried if I should allow this person to be as close to me.  Then I felt like I had family bond on my side now since my protective guards were down.